The Axe Effect
by BattyCore
Summary: Kenny has a plan. He wants the one and only Kyle Broflovski, but will he succeed? Stan doesn't think so. Rated teen only to be safe, there's nothing that bad.


_The Axe Effect_

"Aww, dude! What reeks?" exclaimed a stunned Stan Marsh, holding his nose and glaring as the other teen emerged from his home.

The other teen, being Kenny McCormick, raised a curious brow. "Huh?"

Stan continued to glare as he mumbled from behind his glove. "What the hell do you mean 'huh'? Don't you smell that!"

Kenny stared hard at his friend for a moment, thinking. Then his face lit up in remembrance as he… erm… remembered. "Oh! Right! Dude, it's this!" he dug in his jacket pocket for a brown can. "It's _Dark Temptations_, by _Axe_," he explained, holding it out for show.

It was Stan's turn to raise an eyebrow in curiosity. "You know that stuff doesn't actually work, right? It's just bad marketing."

"That's not what the department store lady said…" Kenny remarked with a smirk.

Stan chuckled lightly, brow now raised in amusement. "And you're carrying it with you because…?"

Sliding the can back into his pocket, he maintained his smirk. "Emergency situations?" he offered, cocking his head to the side.

Scoffing, Stan turned sharply and made his way back to the sidewalk. "Whatever, man. Let's go Kyle," he declared, ending the discussion.

Kenny followed silently, grinning to himself a little deviously. Stan couldn't help but wonder what the blonde was scheming with a look like that on his face. However, he soon decided he didn't want to be involved and decided on ignoring it.

They approached the Jew's door and Stan knocked on it a little too hard. "Kyle! We're here!" he shouted, making quite a racket. He knew Kyle was a little hard of hearing, and that he was always playing music in his room to drown out his brother and mother.

The two stood on the perfectly shoveled stoop for a minute or so and waited for their last recruit of the day to emerge. They weren't forced to wait for too long, because he soon opened the door.

He smiled and waved a greeting to his friends, shutting the door behind him. He got halfway through the word "Hello" before he stopped short, sniffing the air. His eyes half lidded as he inhaled. Something apparently pleased his senses. "What's that smell?" he asked, slightly dazed.

Stan gaped and stared at the red head. Kenny leered and shot Stan an "I told you it worked~" look. Kyle continued to sniff the air and inquired again about its origins.

"Uhh… It's totally Kenny, dude. Kenny and his skunk piss," Stan answered slowly, recovering from the initial shock of seeing the real live Axe Effect.

Kyle slowly made his way toward Kenny; almost like a zombie. He buried his face in the slightly taller teen's chest and inhaled sharply. He clutched the orange fabric of Kenny's parka as his knees went momentarily weak. "Mmm, Kenny… You smell like sex… Sex and Heaven and God and… Mmn…" he whispered, nuzzling his nose into his friend's sternum. He inhaled again, long and deep, his eyes fluttering shut.

The blonde chuckled and made a short fist pump in victory, infamous smirk plastered to his face. "Oh, dear Kyle, I didn't realize you felt that way. What are you going to do about it?" Kenny questioned, amused and satisfied. He'd been trying to capture Kyle's attention for weeks, but his advances were blown off.

Sucking in another breath of Kenny, Kyle's voice was almost lost in his sudden desire. "Mm, Kenny, I want to jump your bones," he stated, casual as the weather. The words struck shock to the faces of both of the other boys. Ignorant to their shock, Kyle proceeded to wrap his arms around Kenny's chest and buried his face deeper into the parka.

Stan's jaw hung open as he stared at his super-best-friend. "Dude! You're acting like a cat in heat!" he exclaimed, pointing a finger. At that statement, the Jew rubbed his own body along Kenny's succinctly, completing the simile perfectly.

Kenny's eyes shut and he shook for a moment, arousal beginning to course through his veins at Kyle's actions. He'd never expected Kyle to react this strongly to the Axe, even though he knew the redhead was weak for it. "Hey Kyle, don't… don't you think this could wait until later… maybe? I mean, with Stan standing right here and all… I don't think he'd quite appreciate you 'jumping my bones' in front of his poor little virgin eyes. Not to mention your mother-"

Kyle snapped back to reality at the mention of his mother, his eyes snapping open. After a short moment, he released his hold on the blonde. Realizing what he just done and said, he blushed heavily and stared at the snow on the ground.

"Hey! My eyes are not virgin!" Stan defended, a little late. He proceeded to flip Kenny off with a huff.

Suddenly aware of his surroundings, Kyle looked back at his door and decided it was high time to leave. "Speaking of my mother, we should get the hell out of here. I don't want her coming to bother us; I didn't tell her I where I was going, and we'll catch hell if she sees us out here."

The other two agreed quickly and they set off in the direction of the pond. It was still the dead of winter, the pond was frozen, and they were going to skate. In the years it took the children to get into high school, the town had put a rental shed near the pond. In the winter, they lent out things like skates, and in the summer they lent boats and the like.

They got their skates and dispersed on the ice. Kyle, still quite embarrassed with his earlier actions, tried his best to avoid being near Kenny. Stan had near forgotten the incident, it having nothing to do with him, and was busy going on about some rules to some game they were going to play. Kenny, stoked and buzzed from accomplishing something, kept his eye on the redhead. Oh yes, he was going to _have_ Kyle Broflovski.

After a while, the sun began to set, and it began to get dark. The trio decided it was time to turn in, seeing as they could no longer see each other well enough in the dark.

They made for their way home, boots crunching the icy snow in their silence. They'd had a hard day of fun and they were all worn out. They were content to not speak, in order to give their voices a rest.

Stan was the first to split, his house being on the opposite side of town from his friends. He waved them off and spoke words of departure, trudging away.

Walking in silence for a while longer, Kenny couldn't help but to watch his friend out of the corner of his eye. _He's so cute… I can't wait to tear away that innocent façade._

Kyle shivered and brought his arms around himself. The darkness had brought coldness with it. He shivered from the cold, and he shivered from his thoughts. _I can't believe I did something like that… _said_ something like that! He must think I'm such an idiot._ He looked over to his friend and noticed the other looking at him. He blushed and looked away.

"Are you cold?" Kenny asked, his voice soft. He had a way with his words, his voice. It made Kyle feel more embarrassed. Even still, he replied with a nod and a "Yeah."

Kenny got closer to his friend and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. It was an excuse to get closer to Kyle again, an excuse for Kyle to be able to smell him, and a way to keep Kyle from hypothermia.

The instant Kenny's scent hit Kyle's nose, he was mush again. He pressed himself close to the blonde and continued to walk wordlessly. He didn't even notice that he wasn't taken home; he was taken _home_. As in, Kenny took him home for the night. "How would you like to spend the night?" he asked, a hint of sensuality in his tone.

Kyle shuddered, cold and embarrassed and aroused and nervous. "I'd like that a lot…" he muttered, not looking at Kenny's face.

Kenny grinned, leading the way inside, proud of his prize. "Awesome," he declared.

* * *

><p><strong>So this is an almost mini K2 fic. :3 I'm having troubles with the other one that I'm working on, and I wanted to do something mildly cute. So this is what I came up with~ I hope you enjoyed, this might possibly maybe potentially have another chapter in the future, but please don't get your hopes too high up. T^T<strong>


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